I did not ask for a lot this year
Every single day
Lookin` for an answer to the words you say

Never got to meet the President
Never got to shake his squirly hand
Oh, don`t you know the President is out for tea with Tony Blair?
He won`t be back for hours maybe, homeboy

I`d be so happy if I got to meet George Bush
He`s like an angel when Rebecca hears me calling
I would dance on NBC and say George Bush shook hands with me
Then I`d go and choke on a c**k

And Guinevere would find me leaving home
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone, I know
I`d be the greatest singer on the radio

Leaning on the raging river flats
Sliding off a single blade of grass
Oh, don`t you know the A.D.A. is brushing teeth with Johnny J
They won`t be smashing flowers, meet no more

I`d be so happy if I bid it all on you
And never answer when Rebecca ask me questions
I`d lay down to some degree
And say John Stern locked lips with me

And then I`d go and choke
For then I`d go and choke
For then I`d go and choke on a c**k