Gwar, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the s**t from your bodies
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let`s use it`s great power to recover the pieces

Hey, hey jackass, yeah you
You got to love me so good
Yeah, yeah, you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water`s on

If my pipe`s unlogged
Ahh, if you`re water-logged, baby
I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I`ll suck your soul
Just pay, just pay my s**tty toll, ahh

Coated in s**t I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We`ll use the plunger if blockage won`t budge
It`s a door through the plane of fudge

So many times I have found you
Still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you
I`m gonna stop f**king around

If you need s**t then I got s**t
On that you can depend I`ll pump your stump
You f**kin` hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend

The Portal Potty, a gift from the Gods
Let`s pay it tribute and bury our wads
I think we know what it`s all about
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out

I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I`ll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed

Yeah, I`ll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that f**king tampon away from me

Take in this world, it`s so beautiful
Filthy humans, you`re all so full of it
That which you can`t stand you can`t understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
A turd you turn around into it and turn over to me

Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss
Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words
Well, jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd

Yeah, here it comes, baby, I`m dropping my load
I`m ain`t just on it, I am the commode, ahh

The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged
Or carnage could ensue if a dead sheep had clogged him
Who knows what could arrive maybe it will bring
The Master here, wouldn`t that be a surprise?