I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
Nothing special about me motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
When I go to the clubs I wait in line motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
I got 600 dollars in the bank motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
And my sexual perfomances are average

I work at customer service at a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that`s all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don`t go out much, I like to watch TV

I can`t afford a car, I use public transportation
I don`t mind, I read till I reach my destination
Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
The amount of money I save, this s**t is off the hook

And I`m not very good with the women
I`m a pretty sharp person and I`m average looking
Last time I had sex was in 2003
And I`m ashamed to admit it, but it wasn`t free

I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
I get nervous in social situations motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
I get constipated once a month motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce motherf**ker
I`m just a regular everyday normal guy
And I get scared when I go see the dentist

I`m the Pauly Shore of everyday life
Easily forgettable, and I`m not very liked
I have an According to Jim personality
I`m as entertaining as a f**king STD

If you want to mess with me, I think you probably can
Because I`m not confident, and I`m weak for a man
I`ll just roll up in a ball when you kick me in the back
Yeah honestly, I probably won`t fight back

And I don`t have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would, but he doesn`t look very tough
"You want some of this, bitch?"

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you`re not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
And if you have a bad back put your hands up

" I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge, and ever since then, it`s just not the same... you know it... it gets.. it gets pretty sore"

I am just a regular everyday normal guy
My parents are really nice people moterf**ker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I am somewhat afraid of heights motherf**ker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I like the show Grey`s Anatomy motherf**ker
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And I am pretty good at making paper planes